I have so far managed to mask the overwhelming feeling of 'what the hell am I meant to do here??' by choosing a bizarre and uncharacteristic kind of domesticity as my useful-but-not-really-useful activity to ignore revision for. Tidying, baking and sewing make me feel in control when everything else seems stale, confusing and frustratingly out of my control.
***things I learnt from making way too many cakes***
crushed shreddies are not a suitable substitute for oats
the weird dark sugar you found in the cupboard makes everything taste of treacle
raw cake batter isn't dangerous/inadvisable to eat I should know I've basically eaten nothing else and so far haven't been ill..... (***frantically touches wood***)
no one ever. ever. ever doesn't appreciate the availability of biscuits. even if they're a bit burnt and you couldn't find all the ingredients. side note: this also sort of backfires and you often don't get to eat any yourself
baking is kind of time consuming, i.e. a good way to spend the dead and unproductive hours between lunch and 4pm
*takes off incompetent-50s-housewife apron*
Sadly I haven't been able to put off the exam preparation. It's such a drag though because it doesn't even involve doing something new. You have to go back over everything you've done so far, which definitely feels counter progressive, and incredibly disheartening especially when you can't even remember all of it.
another thing I've been cultivating : spotify playlisting. I find it difficult trying to keep track of all the music I currently like because it switches so often, but there are also songs which I will listen to again and again. anyway. here is the music I've been listening to over the easter break. Largely a taxonomy of girl band/female orientated music throughout the ages but also other good stuff. New Kendrick Lamar, Earl Sweatshirt, Kanye etc.
(also, you don't have to be impressed that my html-ignorant self managed to eMBED A SPOTIFY PLAYLIST ON MY BLOG but uh, whatever. i'm cool)
also this song which has been stuck in my head for the past weeks because a) its so damn catchy and cute but also a bit weird and b) I've had to listen to it repeatedly because QT has done no other music???? this is a very real problem.
Some visual things I've purposefully had lying around my desktop to pick me up when I've been feeling crushed and gloomy, and when revising has been making me feel like there is nothing else in the world but FACTS and DATES and VERB CONJUGATIONS
|some general good advice from teen vogue on how to get over feeling burnt out|
|this picture made me laugh hysterically for about 3 minutes when I first saw it. I don't really know why, but I bring it up periodically while I'm working to keep my spirits up|
|some of my favourite song lyrics this month to help keep my emotions circulating|
Pictures from my most recent trip to London, which included my first ever trip to the natural history museum because apparently most people go there at some point in their childhood and I never had, and also stuffed animals are fascinating. Me and my friend also spent hours in the V&A. I never realised how huge it was before, or that the entire top floor is dedicated to ceramics.
There was a weirdly hot day last term, and I couldn't work because I had a headache so instead I went for a walk then sat in my windowsill drinking lime juice and taking pictures of the sky.
Anyway. I've only got a week left now until I go back, and my friends are finally back so I can keep myself busy trying to see all of them/reorganising my life at home before I leave again. This is good. I really hate waiting around.